A few months ago, I was coaching a couple, and after our session, the husband looked at me with such sadness in his eyes and asked if I believed his wife loved him.

It was a difficult question to answer. My response was, "She loves you as best as she knows how to in a relationship."

The husband came from a loving family with affection, quality time for personal connection, and both parents being present, while the wife grew up in a large family with a single mother who was unavailable and had episodes of anger. 

Their examples, experience and preception of what love was suppose to be like in a relationship were so different. 

Despite his hurt feelings, it really isn't about him. It isn't a reflection of his lovability; it's about someone else's ability to give and receive love in the way he needs to experience it. 

Does this mean how we show up in our relationship will be similar to our parent's relationship? It's highly likely unless we consciously and willingly want a new experience.

If we aren't purposeful about creating what we want, we might unconsciously recreate our childhood experiences, including the way we express and receive love.

So here are a few questions...

How does your current or past relationship resemble that of your parents/caregivers?

Could someone be super loving and affectionate even if they were raised in an environmet that was dominated with anger and lacking affection?

I believe it's entirely possible...  Change is possible when there is willingness and awareness.

Thank you Thank you Thank you!

Warmly,

Linda❤️