Let's Be Real - Conversation with Loved Ones Can Be HARD

They can trigger old wounds, push our buttons, and leave us feeling frustrated or misunderstood.

I want to share some simple, practical before, during, and after communication tips that have helped me over the years. I hope they help you, too!

When You Get Triggered: Get in Tune with Yourself

Check in with Your Body

Get used to using your body as one of your biggest tools. Notice the physical sensations that start to come up—do you feel heat, tightness, numbness, pressure? Let the outside world go for a second and just breathe into those sensations until the intensity dissipates.

Notice Your Emotions

Identify and name the emotion that’s present. This helps a lot. Are you feeling threatened, rejected, scared, betrayed, or like you have to prove yourself?

Ground Yourself

Take one minute to let go of the outside world. Breathe deeply and bring yourself into the now. Ask yourself:
"Am I reacting to this moment, or am I bringing my past into it?"
For example: If a past partner cheated, is your current partner actually betraying you, or are you projecting?

During the Conversation: Stay Present & Open

Head vs. Heart

Notice if you're stuck in your head, analyzing and defending. If so, start bringing your breath into your heart. Connect to your heart space. Maybe even place a hand on your heart to help you stay there.

Maintain Connection

Keep soft eye contact and an open, non-defensive posture. Are your arms crossed? Is your face tense? What’s your tone—gentle and open, or sharp and defensive?

A simple way to get into your heart is to imagine the person in front of you as their younger self—connect to their heart and their wounds. They are most likely hurting, too.

Try using simple mantras like:
👉 “It’s okay if we disagree. They’re still a good person.”
👉 “I don’t have to be right.”
👉 “Can we respect each other despite our differences?”

Stay Present

Drop the need to “win” or have the last word. If you're like me, this might take some practice—but believe me, once you get used to it, it feels so soft and good inside.

Try to truly listen without immediately forming your response. You’d be amazed at how much more you learn when you stop trying to prove your side.

Empathetic Communication

Listen without crafting your reply while they’re speaking. It helps to repeat back their perspective so they feel heard. Speak from your heart, not from a place of proving or defending.

After the Conversation: Reflect & Reset

Take Responsibility

If you lost your cool, own it. A simple, “I’m sorry for how I reacted” can go a long way—it can actually bring you closer.

Forgive Yourself & Others

No one handles every conversation perfectly. It’s okay to mess up. Forgive yourself if you made a mistake instead of spiraling into self-hatred. And forgive the other person. Taking responsibility and practicing forgiveness can strengthen your connection.

Ask Yourself:

• Why is it so important for me to be right?
• Will this even matter a year from now?

This isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being aware.

I know that’s a lot to think about, but take it one step at a time. You don’t have to get it all right overnight. Just start practicing without pressure or judgment, and over time, it will become the way you naturally communicate.

The more you practice, the easier it gets. Let your body awareness guide you toward calmer, more connected conversations.

I’d love to hear—which of these strategies works best for you? Let me know!

Warmly,
Linda❤️

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