I was walking around the lagoon near my home the other day.
It was one of those perfect moments; the air felt clean, the water was still, and everything around me felt calm and expansive. I took a deep breath and let it all in.
And for a moment… I was fully there. SO Grateful.
Grateful that I live where I do.
Grateful that I can walk, see, breathe.
Grateful for my body, my life, my surroundings.
Especially when you look at the state of the world; there’s a deeper appreciation. A knowing of how much we actually have. I stayed in that feeling for a while.
And then, almost like clockwork, my mind shifted.
“Well… you didn’t hit your financial goals last year. You could have done better.”
“It would be so great to lose a little weight around your waist.”
“You should be a better mom- definitely didn’t talk the way I wanted to to my daugher.”
And just like that, I was no longer in gratitude. I was back in not enough. Everything I was doing, was not quite enough.
How “Not Enough” Takes Over
This is the part most people don’t talk about. You can know gratitude and can practice and feel it deeply. But still find yourself pulled back into the familiar “but I need more, or can do better”.
Not enough money.
Not enough progress.
Not enough success.
Not enough change.
And what’s tricky is this voice doesn’t always sound harsh. Sometimes it sounds responsible and is motivating. Like “I know I am capable of more” or “I just want to do better.”
The question is…is there pressure and lack underneath it?
So How Do You Want More Without Feeling Like You Are Less?
This is the real question. Because wanting more isn’t the problem. Wanting to grow and be better is awesome and expansive; nothing you want to supress.
The shift comes in how you hold both.
What I realized in that moment at the lagoon was that gratitude and goals cannot live in the same emotional space when there is pressure and lack.
You can’t truly appreciate your life and judge it at the same time. So instead of trying to force them together, I started to separate them.
Create Two Different Spaces
1. The Space of Gratitude (No Agenda Allowed)
This is where you let yourself fully be with what is; no fixing, no improving and no evaluating. Full acceptance of what is with appreciation.
Because when gratitude is real, your nervous system softens and your body shifts out of that constant “on” state.
2. The Space of Creation (Driven by Possibility, Not Punishment)
Then (separately) you create space for your goals. But here’s the difference:
You’re not coming from
“I’m not where I should be.”
You’re coming from
“I’m excited about where I’m going.”
Feel the difference in that.
One contracts you. The other expands you.
You can want more money, a stronger body, a different life
without making your current self or life wrong.
A Simple Reframe
Instead of:
“I didn’t hit my goals last year… I need to do better.”
Try:
“Last year showed me what matters to me. Now I get to build from that.”
Instead of:
“I need to lose this weight.”
Try:
“I want to feel stronger, lighter, and more energized in my body.”
Instead of:
“I’m behind.”
Try:
“I’m in process.”
Why This Matters More Than You Think
Because when your goals are built on not enough, they never actually satisfy you. Before you even reach them, you will move the finish line. So you will never be satisfied or if you will, it will be short lived.
But when your goals are built on gratitude + possibility. You don’t just get there faster, you actually feel it when you do.
The Practice
Next time you catch yourself in a moment of gratitude; stay in it for as long as you can, and if the “not enough thoughts” want to creep in, schedule a time you can deal with them.
Then later, intentionally create space to dream, plan, and build.
Just reminding you to be kind to yourself and take time to appreciate all that you are doing. It is enough.
Much Love,
Linda
